This episode is dedicated to all dads, or would-be dads, who have suffered the crushing loss of losing a child through miscarriage. May your thoughts, feelings and emotions be heard through what Tsombawi shares today. And if you have been going it alone, trying to understand why this little being meant so much to you, I hope this episode can be the stepping stone to you being able to reach out and share the load you've been silently carrying.
We often hear about miscarriage from a mother's perspective, so I'm excited to share with you this frank and open conversation from the lens of a male, husband and father. It's uplifting, inspiring, full of truth, heart, and great advice.
Tsombawi Knibye Jr is an entrepreneur with entities that consist of an apparel brand, positive mindset podcast, music and video production services. He is also a youth mentor, parenting coach, songwriter, voiceover artist and an accomplished musician. He has worked in the school education system for over a decade working with students and their parents with after school programs, summer camps, job fairs, behavioral and social skills programs. His podcast involves having invoking conversations, interviews and insights from industry leaders. It also includes looking at life from a different perspective challenging your attitude and character.
Today, we focus on his book 'Letting Go of Baby Too' - part of the Letting Go of Babyseries.
Tsombawi shares:
[00:08:33] And about 10 minutes later, the doctor comes back in. And literally in his nonchalant shalan voice, he's like, well, everything looks good, but unfortunately the baby has died.
[00:11:32] Like, why did this happen to my wife? Why did this happen to us? You know, what have I done
[00:12:42] This is all about us conquering and at this moment in time, I'm feeling helpless.
[00:14:33] It's interesting you say that because a lot of men do not talk about this. It, it actually, to me, what I found is it's a very sensitive and vulnerable subject for men to talk about because as men, you know, from a general standpoint, we are groomed to be, you know, you're tough
[00:15:34] If you shake a soda bottle or a soda can up enough and not even much, but you shake it up enough and you open it, it's spilling out over everything and over everybody, and that's how men are like eventually, if we don't deal with those emotions and feelings we have, eventually we're going to blow up on somebody or something at the wrong place, wrong time
[00:18:06] In this book I'm like, look, I'm talking to men. Most men, they wanna get to the main course of it and see, but I'm like, at the same time, we can't do that. We also gotta have some talks in this book about emotions and feelings and how to get through
[00:27:00] And to take on that mindset, you have to surround yourself for people who are going to encourage you, allow you to grieve, and allow you to have that time of bereavement. But then after a while I said, okay, you've been here long enough, it's time to get back up
[00:29:14] And for men, we normally express our emotions and feelings in a non-healthy way. We express it in anger, we express it by, you know, going through the gym, lifting weights, which is fine...But then we'll also express it in a way that may cause us to do things that are detrimental to us and those attached to us
... and so much more!
Quote:
"Sometimes things happen in your own life to help somebody else who's coming behind you. To help them either deal with and go through it or to help them to avoid it altogether."~ Tsombawi Knibye Jr
Resources:
Tsombawi's links:
Website: https://tsombawi.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tknibyejr
IG: https://www.instagram.com/tknibyejr/
TikTok: https://twitter.com/tknibyejr/
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And thanks, Gabe Dovaston for the great music! www.themusicacademypapamoa.com
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